17 Dec DON’T Treat Your Children All The Same!
If I had a £1 for every time I’ve heard parents say; “I treat all the kids the same, so I’ve no idea why he behaves like this!” I’d be a very rich woman. So if this is something you do and you want to stand by it you’re welcome to send me a £1. I must add though, you are not alone. It’s probably one of the commonest of the 10 Biggest Mistakes made by parents. I definitely remember putting my two daughters in the same dresses sometimes because I thought it looked cute. And they did look really cute but it wasn’t long before the youngest quite rightly, put her foot down and said she didn’t like dresses.
Here’s another example: –
Mary and Peter were parents who said exactly this to me. They believe they treat Tommy’s sister Hannah just the same as they treat Tommy.
However, Hannah is a calm and compliant child who always tries to do the right thing and get her parents approval. Tommy is much more direct, daring and deliberate. The siblings are opposites, so it’s likely that treating them the same isn’t always going to work. They both have many natural strengths and challenges. Their communication styles will be different as well as how they relate to other family members.
They need to be treated differently to get the best out of each child, not the same. Equality is about giving children what they need and what is right for their emotional growth and development. It’s not about treating every child exactly the same.
Every Child Matters
Every child matters but different things matter to every child. Challenging behaviour in kids or the lack of a loving connection is frequently an indication your child doesn’t feel truly heard and valued as an individual. House rules need to be consistent for all your children but taking into account the individual needs of each child and the different ways they respond to rules and consequences. If your child’s behaviour is something you’re struggling with right now, I’m here to help you.
I’d love to hear your comments.