Focus on emotions, NOT behaviour

31 Dec Focus on emotions, NOT behaviour

How do you feel when you’re trying to get a point across and you don’t feel as though you’re being listened to? It’s frustrating isn’t it? It can make you feel as though your opinion doesn’t matter or you’re not important enough to be taken notice of. It can even make you feel super angry and as though you want to scream.

Kids express their emotions through their behaviour. Their behaviour can be very challenging for parents and often needs to be corrected. However, making the big mistake of focusing on the behaviour rather than the emotion behind it means the child doesn’t feel heard. When a child doesn’t feel heard they’ll either ramp up the behaviour to get the attention they desire, withdraw or resort to unhealthy ways of getting their needs met.

Dealing with challenging behaviour is tough for parents, particularly when nothing seems to work and everyone around is giving different advice. If you get into the habit of acknowledging the emotion behind the behaviour before trying to correct or discipline your child you’ll see changes starting to take place. Your child will feel heard and as though their innermost feelings really matter to you.

When I work with parents using the PACT coaching model, Parents learn skills for life and the whole family benefits. If you’d like to know more about how the PACT model can help you, book your complimentary session with me.

I’d love to hear your comments.